Jokes

User avatar
Mrs Redeyes
Posts: 4436
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:00 pm
Location: I'm Over Here!!

Jokes

Post by Mrs Redeyes » Thu Jan 15, 2009 9:31 am

Kid Logic



A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on.



He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office.



He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.

He did and returned to his class.



Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.



She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his 'private part' hanging out.



'I thought I told you to call your mum!' she said.



'I did,' he said, 'And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.'



<!--emo&:rofl:--><img src='http://i2.ifrm.com/4013/140/emo/rofl.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='rofl.gif' /><!--endemo-->




--------------------


<div class='signature'>"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"



"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"



<img src='http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w165 ... Icon-1.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"

"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"

Image
User avatar
Mrs Redeyes
Posts: 4436
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:00 pm
Location: I'm Over Here!!

Jokes

Post by Mrs Redeyes » Thu Jan 15, 2009 3:41 pm

Spin Dotctors



Judy Wallman, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton's great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.



The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription: 'Remus Rodham; horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.'



Judy e-mailed Hillary Clinton for information about her great-great uncle. Hillary's staff sent back the following biographical sketch:



'Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency.



In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.'




--------------------


<div class='signature'>"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"



"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"



<img src='http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w165 ... Icon-1.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"

"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"

Image
User avatar
Mrs Redeyes
Posts: 4436
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:00 pm
Location: I'm Over Here!!

Jokes

Post by Mrs Redeyes » Fri Feb 20, 2009 1:38 pm

...And then the fight started...



When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.... So, I took her to a gas station.....

And then the fight started....



My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said,

"Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?"She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....



After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry , but I would have to go home and come back later The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' And she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too'

And then the fight started.....



Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage . I hooked the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential down pour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to m y wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And that's how the fight started ...



My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at A nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many & years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started.....



I rear-ended a car this morning.So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and Little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY! !!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started.....



I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And then the fight started.....



A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....




--------------------


<div class='signature'>"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"



"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"



<img src='http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w165 ... Icon-1.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"

"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"

Image
User avatar
jonlumb
Posts: 618
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:00 pm
Location: In the Aether
Contact:

Jokes

Post by jonlumb » Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:48 pm

http://www2.pcpro.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=323390




--------------------


<div class='signature'> I can feel bits of my brain falling away like pieces of wet cake.
User avatar
Mrs Redeyes
Posts: 4436
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:00 pm
Location: I'm Over Here!!

Jokes

Post by Mrs Redeyes » Tue Jul 28, 2009 6:37 am

Q. Why do blondes only have lunchboxes with clear plastic lids?



A. So they can tell if they're on their way to work, or on the way home!!




--------------------


<div class='signature'>"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"



"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"



<img src='http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w165 ... Icon-1.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"

"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"

Image
User avatar
Mrs Redeyes
Posts: 4436
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:00 pm
Location: I'm Over Here!!

Jokes

Post by Mrs Redeyes » Thu Sep 03, 2009 5:58 am

These are some of the best new(ish) blonde jokes I've seen in a while....



Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking. One blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away, Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says, "Hellooooooooo......, can you see Florida?"



CAR TROUBLE



A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor." She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"



SPEEDING TICKET



A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"



RIVER WALK



There's this blonde out for a walk. she comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side!"



AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE



A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead takes her finger and pushes on her left shoulder and screams, then she pushes her elbow and screams even more. She pushes her knee and screams, likewise her ankle. Everywhere she touches makes her scream. The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead are you?" "Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."



KNITTING



A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!!" "NO! the blonde yelled back. "It's a scarf!"



BLONDE ON THE SUN



A Russian, and American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" "You can't land on the sun, you baka! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"



IN A VACUUM



A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"



WATCH OUT, NOW



A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs. She asked what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and the other, Timex. Her friend said, "I never heard of someone naming dogs like that!" "HELLOOOOOOOOOO....." answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"



<!--emo&:rofl:--><img src='http://i2.ifrm.com/4013/140/emo/rofl.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='rofl.gif' /><!--endemo-->




--------------------


<div class='signature'>"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"



"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"



<img src='http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w165 ... Icon-1.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"

"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"

Image
User avatar
Mrs Redeyes
Posts: 4436
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:00 pm
Location: I'm Over Here!!

Jokes

Post by Mrs Redeyes » Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:22 pm

Italian Tomato Garden:



An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work as the ground was hard.



His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:



Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.

Love, Papa



A few days later he received a letter from his son.



Dear Pop,

Don't for goodness sake dig up the garden. That's where the bodies are buried.

Love, Vinnie



At 4 a.m. the next day, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.



That same day the old man received another letter from his son.



Dear Pop,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you, Vinnie




--------------------


<div class='signature'>"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"



"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"



<img src='http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w165 ... Icon-1.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"

"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"

Image
User avatar
Mrs Redeyes
Posts: 4436
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:00 pm
Location: I'm Over Here!!

Jokes

Post by Mrs Redeyes » Tue Nov 10, 2009 1:04 pm

A Trip to CostCo



Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.



I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)



Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.




--------------------


<div class='signature'>"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"



"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"



<img src='http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w165 ... Icon-1.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"

"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"

Image
User avatar
RedeyesUK
Posts: 2568
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2005 11:00 pm
Location: Over there, then left a bit..no, a bit more..that's it!

Jokes

Post by RedeyesUK » Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:55 pm

Mathematics





Teaching Maths in 1970

1. A logger sells a truckload of timber for ?100..

His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.

What is his profit?





2. Teaching Maths In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of timber for ?100.

His cost of production is 80% of the price.

What is his profit?





3. Teaching Maths In 1990

A logger sells a truckload of timber for ?100.

His cost of production is ?80.

How much was his profit?





4. Teaching Maths In 2000

A logger sells a truckload of timber for ?100.

His cost of production is ?80 and his profit is ?20.

Your assignment: Underline the number 20.





5. Teaching Maths In 2005

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.

Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of ?20.





6. Teaching Maths In 2009

A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling license. He is also fined a ?100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another ?100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further ?100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for ?100 cash. They also have a leaving BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced ?12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make ?20 profit by hard work, give up, sign on to the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?





7. Teaching Maths In 2010

A logger doesn?t sell a lorry load of timber because he can?t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Iceland and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses. The logger struggles to pay the ?1200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it. Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the government's expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay ?1,500 registration fees as a gang master. The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.

You do the maths.
User avatar
bally199
Posts: 109
Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2008 11:00 pm
Location: In your base annoying your dudes

Jokes

Post by bally199 » Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:27 pm

Knock knock.



Who's there?



Nvidia!



Nvidi- 1.7 WOODAN SCREWAN!



You might have to have lurked 4chan to get that joke <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://i2.ifrm.com/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->




--------------------


<div class='signature'>
Someone on iPodTouchFans wrote:This is iPodTouchFans, not Erection Fans!
User avatar
Mrs Redeyes
Posts: 4436
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:00 pm
Location: I'm Over Here!!

Jokes

Post by Mrs Redeyes » Thu Jan 21, 2010 10:01 am

The answer to the eternal question, "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?"



Michael Jordan made over &#036;300,000 a game. That equals &#036;10,000 a minute, at an average 30 minutes per game. With &#036;40 million in endorsements, he makes &#036;178,100 a day, working or not. If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes &#036;52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head. If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him &#036;7.00, but he'll make &#036;18,550 while he's there. If he decides to have a five minute egg, he'll make &#036;618 while boiling it. He makes &#036;7,415/hr more than minimum wage. If he wanted to save up for a new Porsche 911 Turbo, (&#036;90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours. If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you'd be living comfortably at &#036;65,000 a year. This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it?



However, if Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 250 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.



Game over. Nerd wins.




--------------------


<div class='signature'>"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"



"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"



<img src='http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w165 ... Icon-1.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"

"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"

Image
User avatar
RedeyesUK
Posts: 2568
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2005 11:00 pm
Location: Over there, then left a bit..no, a bit more..that's it!

Jokes

Post by RedeyesUK » Thu Jan 28, 2010 12:57 am

Three lawyers and three engineers are travelling by train to a conference.

At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three

engineers buy only a single ticket.



"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a lawyer.



"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.



They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all

three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting

tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The

door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.

The conductor takes it and moves on.



The lawyers see this and agree that it is quite a clever idea so, after the

conference, they decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save

some money (recognizing the engineers' superior intellect).



When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip.

To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all.



"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed lawyer.



"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.



When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the

three engineers cram into another one nearby.



The train departs.



Shortly afterwards, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over

to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and

says, "Ticket, please."

User avatar
Mrs Redeyes
Posts: 4436
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:00 pm
Location: I'm Over Here!!

Jokes

Post by Mrs Redeyes » Tue Feb 23, 2010 9:56 am

A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the rates.

"Fifty dollars for three questions," replied the lawyer.



"Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man.



"Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?"







<!--emo&:lol:--><img src='http://i2.ifrm.com/html/emoticons/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' /><!--endemo-->




--------------------


<div class='signature'>"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"



"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"



<img src='http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w165 ... Icon-1.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"

"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"

Image
User avatar
Mrs Redeyes
Posts: 4436
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:00 pm
Location: I'm Over Here!!

Jokes

Post by Mrs Redeyes » Wed Mar 10, 2010 11:18 am

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN.



AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL



THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED.



THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.'



THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS,



'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!'



'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?'



'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.' HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.'



'A WITCH ??. . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?'



'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW..... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER!'




<img src='http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w165 ... OldMen.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>




--------------------


<div class='signature'>"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"



"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"



<img src='http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w165 ... Icon-1.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
"Why do the people who know the least, know it the loudest?"

"Illegitmi non carborundum est!"

Image
User avatar
RedeyesUK
Posts: 2568
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2005 11:00 pm
Location: Over there, then left a bit..no, a bit more..that's it!

Jokes

Post by RedeyesUK » Thu Nov 11, 2010 9:12 am

At the end of the tax year, the Inland Revenue office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.



While the agent was checking the books he turned to the Accountant of the Hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages.



What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"



"Good question," noted the Accountant.



"We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages."



"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.



But on he went, in his obnoxious way.



"What about all these plaster purchases?



What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"



"Ah, yes," replied the Hospital Accountant, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question.



"We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster."



"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Accountant.



"Well," he went on,



"What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"



"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Accountant.



"What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the Inland Revenue Office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick."



<!--emo&:lol:--><img src='http://i2.ifrm.com/html/emoticons/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Post Reply