Living with the opposite sex
Living with the opposite sex
OK there are some things my Mother never told me about women, and especially those things you only discover when you live with one. I decided to start this thread to share the wisdom. Please contribute your experiences and help prepare us for the worst!
I'll start:
1. Do you have ANY idea how bad week old sanitary towels smell!?
It's bin day today - and I've just had to empty the little bin in the bath room... I had to peel them off the bottom with my fingers. Imagine a week old dead cat kept in a nice warm place... Mmm ripe!
2. Chocolate. We all know girls eat chocolate. Do you know how much?
If I bought 5 pounds of the stuff, I'd have to be sure to eat my share the same day because there's no guarantee there will be any left in the morning!
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I'll start:
1. Do you have ANY idea how bad week old sanitary towels smell!?
It's bin day today - and I've just had to empty the little bin in the bath room... I had to peel them off the bottom with my fingers. Imagine a week old dead cat kept in a nice warm place... Mmm ripe!
2. Chocolate. We all know girls eat chocolate. Do you know how much?
If I bought 5 pounds of the stuff, I'd have to be sure to eat my share the same day because there's no guarantee there will be any left in the morning!
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<div class='signature'> <img src='http://myanimelist.net/signature/JJW009.png' border='0' alt='user posted image'> ??? <img src='http://imagegen.last.fm/LastfmMyspace/oartists/5/JJW009.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
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Living with the opposite sex
yes week old ST's stink also have you had to unblock the plug hole in the bath yet now thats disgusting its all slimy and hairy
or trying to find your shower gel among the various lady products in the shower i mean WTF does ladys shower gel need sand init for
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<div class='signature'> Dreams come at the cost of reality
or trying to find your shower gel among the various lady products in the shower i mean WTF does ladys shower gel need sand init for
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<div class='signature'> Dreams come at the cost of reality
- RedeyesUK
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Living with the opposite sex
Always make sure you use a different brand of razor to your girlfriend - My ex used to have a nasty habit of putting her old razor heads (that she used to shave her legs, as well as other more unmentionable places ) back in the dispenser with the new ones!
That's not funny when you get a nice 'new' razor blade, only to find you'd have been better off shaving your face with a potato peeler!
Oh, and stand well back when she's spraying perfume, otherwise you'll smell like girls for the rest of the day - not good when you're going to work.....
That's not funny when you get a nice 'new' razor blade, only to find you'd have been better off shaving your face with a potato peeler!
Oh, and stand well back when she's spraying perfume, otherwise you'll smell like girls for the rest of the day - not good when you're going to work.....
Living with the opposite sex
They fart in bed. I don't like the competition
Bob
Bob
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Living with the opposite sex
never let a woman borrow a hoodie as it will smell like perfume for weeks and everyone will think your a puff
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<div class='signature'> Dreams come at the cost of reality
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<div class='signature'> Dreams come at the cost of reality
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Living with the opposite sex
An ex of mine had a friend who once forgot to remove the last tampon of a period and only realised at the start of the next one. She went to the doctors to have it removed and it supposedly smelt really bad.JJW009 wrote:1. Do you have ANY idea how bad week old sanitary towels smell!?
It's bin day today - and I've just had to empty the little bin in the bath room... I had to peel them off the bottom with my fingers. Imagine a week old dead cat kept in a nice warm place... Mmm ripe!
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<div class='signature'> I'm not addicted to porn, I'm addicted to masturbation. Porn is just an enabler.
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There are plenty more fish in the sea, get your tackle out and see what bites.
Divers go deeper and stay down for longer.
Living with the opposite sex
She's lucky she didn't die of septic shock - I saw that on Casualty once!!
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Living with the opposite sex
It must be true then! <!--emo&:lol:--><img src='http://i2.ifrm.com/html/emoticons/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' /><!--endemo-->
The one thing I'd suggest is to make a real effort to notice when the female stops taking the pill between cycles. If she isn't on the pill, then you have to try and notice when ST's appear in the shopping. Basically for that week or so, do lots of housework. You can then relax for the other three weeks. If you don't do this, you are leaving yourself open to mood attacks.
Basically she will be in a bad mood due to the time of the month, and even though you mightn't do anything wrong, she will snap at you. If you snap back, prepare to DIE!!! It then becomes an issue about how you are in a bad mood, that you don't take notice of when she is off colour, that you are insensitive, or any other unlimited various huge (in her eyes) issues that she can think up.
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The one thing I'd suggest is to make a real effort to notice when the female stops taking the pill between cycles. If she isn't on the pill, then you have to try and notice when ST's appear in the shopping. Basically for that week or so, do lots of housework. You can then relax for the other three weeks. If you don't do this, you are leaving yourself open to mood attacks.
Basically she will be in a bad mood due to the time of the month, and even though you mightn't do anything wrong, she will snap at you. If you snap back, prepare to DIE!!! It then becomes an issue about how you are in a bad mood, that you don't take notice of when she is off colour, that you are insensitive, or any other unlimited various huge (in her eyes) issues that she can think up.
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